Been a while?!

I swear it's been forever since I've been on here. I keep telling myself that I need to go write in my blog....buuut then I forget or get too lazy! Blah! I've had alot of thoughts run through my head lately about many different things! I don't really know how to describe them either! If I had a nickle for every though, I'm sure I'd be suuper rich by now! Ha you can only wish! It's so weird that in a few weeks everybody will be going off to college and starting their new lives. People who are dating and have been for quite sometime are breaking up and saying goodbye, which is not the easiest thing in the world by any means. Friends who have been so close for many years are finally saying their goodbyes. Our guys friends are getting ready to leave for their missions so soon. We're starting to say Peace Out to our families. It's all just very strange. Not going to lie though, I love being out of high school and knowing exactly what I want out of life and not caring anymore what people think! I just live life as it goes. I'm planning for my future as I write. Trying to figure out how soon and when I'm going or want to move to Cali, making the money for my rent and college. I'm quite excited! Kristin and Jocelyn and Rosie and Heather and Mckenzie and alot of other people are going to come live with me for weeks at a time. I've kind of left them no choice hahaha! Sorry girls, good thing you love me and ...love Cali haha!
Hmm, another thing. Love sucks I've decided. It's the most amazing thing in the world when you have it, but when it's gone and possibly lost forever, it's the most dreadful feeling in the world! As most of you know, I've been in love a few times. Yes I know exactly what love is and don't try to tell me other wise because you don't know how I truly feel about these people unless you've talked to me about all of it before. Kristin and I saw Mamma Mia last night, and I cried during one part of the show trying to hold the tears back as much as I could. It reminded me of the night I was in Vegas with the boy who I actually had planned on spending the rest of my life with, and we went and saw the play Mamma Mia with each other! I've never had a better time in my life then being with him! I miss him more then you could possibly imagine. I would've done anything and everything to be with him! It's almost been a year since we havn't...been together I guess you could say, and I'm still, to this day, tearing myself apart because of him! And then there's Chris. Yes, Chris VanOrden. I've liked that kid off and on since freshman year. When we got together this year I felt as if things were so right, and I knew even before we hooked up that I was in love with him. I was devistated when things didn't work out. I still am. I cried yesterday when he told me that he only has 12 days until he moves....and I'll harldy see him again. It makes me sick to think that one of my best friends for 4 years who I've been in love with all this time is moving and won't play such a big part in my life anymore. I don't even know where Chris and I stand on this day. Ha I remember spending almost every night with him and being so happy! Getting caught making out by his family members...oh my was I embarrassed! I think he's the only boy that actually was able to get my mind of off Scott, it was amazing!
There's also the friends situation.....It's been a roller coaster with some of my friends lately! I mostly spend my time with Kristin and Brady! Actually I do spend all my time with Kristin and I absolutly Love it!! I wouldn't have it any other way! And Brady and I have been on a few dates here and there, thanks to his parents hahahahaha, and I've had an amazing time! Brady is really my best guy friend! He's also another one that's going to come live with me in Cali haha! Anyway, the more thinking I do about friends, the more I think about Rosie. As you all know Rosie and I used to be attached to the Hip. Not so much anymore..Yes we've both kind of gone our seperate ways for stupid reasons. But I miss her. Alot. We did so many stupid things together it was unreal. People knew that when we were together it was trouble. Hahaha. One night this summer we actually picked up 12 year olds.....yes they were that young. It was freaking Hilarious! We're slowly repairing our friendship. It'll take some time, but it's not going to take forever!
Sooo sadly, Kristin is LEAVING ME AGAIN!!! What in the world am I going to do without here?!?!?! I go through SERIOUS withdrawls with out that girl! She's pretty much my LIFE as most of you should know!!!! Oh my! I already miss her and I still have a whole week to be with her..well not a whole week but close to! This time....She's going to NYC to see Wicked and Lion King on Broadway! Hahahaha it's for her birthday present. Can I tell you how jealous I am!?!? Pshhhh, lucky girl. She'll have fun though, but I am going to miss her bunches and bunches! And she best remember to call me during intermission of Wicked so I can hear her scream at the top of her lungs of how amazing it is! hahahaha!
Soooo this is pretty much It for my blog today! I probably won't write for a while ...again because I'm retarded and Lazy and Busy these days too! Hahaha Peace Out!