Been a while

I know it's been a very long time since I've written anything. First off- I apologize if i misspell anything. I have a sprained finger and can barley type. Lucky me right? haha! Anyway, I'm only writting because I need to vent. You don't have to read if you don't want to. I'm sure alot of you are sick and tired of hearing my "sob stories" and that's fine. But for right now, I really need to just let everything out.
First thing- GO UTAH!!!!! I hope Utah kicks some BYU butt!!
Now for everything else. For those of you who have been wondering - Yes I have a boyfrieind. his name is Andy and we've been dating for about a month and I'm absolutly happy! I feel as if I havn't been this happy since i was with Scott. He's been a wonderful thing for me and i'm not about to let him go. it's hard though because we get talking about california and how i'm moving and i just want to break down and cry because i've fallen for him so hard and so fast that i'm scared of losing him. He's absolutly amazing. My parents on the other hand, don't really approve and it's hard.
my relationship with my parents i HORRIBLE! i can't even begin to explain to you what has been going on with my parents this past couple of months. i never thought that someones relationship with their parents could really get this bad. well i'm the lucky star who no longer has a relationship with her parents. they hate her, call her a bitch, tell her they're disappointed in her and don't trust her. we get in fights for no reason and over the littlest things. i've been looking for places to move because i can't handle this anymore. i can't tell you the last time i DIDN'T cry myself to sleep or throw things against the wall, pull out my hair, rip things apart, and just not cared. most of you won't understand. you'll probably think that things are fine and i'm just being stupid etc. but i'm not. honstly i do not have a relationship with my parents anymore. kristin and samir know almost everything that's been going on because they're about the only ones who seem to care. so thank you kristin and samir !
work has been pretty crazy. that's all i do is work. i work 5 -10 hour days and 1-5 hour day. it's crazy. the pay checks are good but i'm slowly getting worn down and not being able to hold myself up. my eyes are puffy from crying and not sleeping, my body hurts from being so stressed and it's always cold in the office. i hate the cold. things will soon slow down hopefully when i go part time. thank goodness.
friends. hahah well as far as friends go. i hung out with brady and anthony the other night. wow have i missed both of them. i had so much fun and we just talked and laughed and went to bradys house and watch tv and just had fun. i love them both so much. brady looked so cute with his puffy cheeks hahaha. lovely. hahaha. i talk to kristin everyday. she's still my best friend and i love her more then anybody and anything right now! i talk to samir once in a while. i do owe him an apology though. samir i am so sorry for not contacting you these past few days and i bailed out on our movie night. but it's NOT been a good week. parent stuff and so i've just kind of shut myself out. but i love you and i'm sorry. jocelyn girl. i freaking miss you to death and i would like to see you soon when you're not busy. heather, wow i've been hanging out with her lately and she's helped me sooo much these past few days and she's always there for me. and she gives me really good advice on what i should do and how i should handle things and just knows how to put a smile on my face! thanks love!
THEN there are the friends who can pretty much kiss my ass. you know those kind of friends who sit there and say they're your best friend and they'd never do anything to hurt you and pretend to actually care about you...well to your face, and then turn around and go pull shitty stunts behind your back and ask everybody to keep it hush hush from you? well let me explain- about a month ago, i found out that a good friend of mine who i called my best friend for a while and i've been good friends with them for many many years now, went behind my back and made out with an ex boyfriend of mine who i was in love with. she knew i was in love with him and she was there for me and knew how upset i was and how much i was hurting when we broke up. she was a wonderful friend at the time. buuuut after we broke up, we went and made out with him, pretty much ALL SUMMER LONG. wtf? what kind of friend does that? i swore to myself i would never get mad at them for "hooking up" with a boy whom i've had interest in. but since i did call her my best friend and i was in LOVE with him, this just took it too far. i would never in a million years ever ever ever think of kissing, hanging out alone etc. with a boy whom she was in love with. i am very disappointed in her and am tired of a bunch of bull shit that's gone on, so i'm sticking up for myself and not letting it happen again. so thank you for hurting me these past few weeks for all the crappy stunts you've pulled. i appreciate it.
christmas time. well it's going to suck. i'm spending christmas by myself. my family including my grandmas are going to california for christmas and i'm stuck at home by myself because i have to work the next 2 days after christmas. it really sucks and i can't help but cry about it because christmas is the time you're supposed to spend with your family. i've been invited to the hillam house for christmas and think i may take them up on that offer. it sounds fun so thank you hillam family for the offer.
I'm done spilling my guts for now.

one last shout out:
GO UTES!


peace